How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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