Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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