I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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