so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
