dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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