According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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