At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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