My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
