On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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