I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
