I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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