She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
