We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
