I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
