I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
