I hope mine doesn't look like that
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize