Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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