She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
