I'm jealous of your bromance
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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