I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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