apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
