in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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