Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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