He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
