WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
