Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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