hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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