why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
