you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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