I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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