Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
