I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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