If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize