I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
