Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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