wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
