He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
