i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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