So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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