Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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