The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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