Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
