what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
