she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
