Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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