She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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