if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
