I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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