do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
