im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Randomize
