the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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