Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
