my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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