She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
