Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
