i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
