At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
